It’s something that almost everyone asks for but only a precious few accept it and move on to change their life. Unfortunately, this is a behavior I encounter all the time, especially as a leader. I always ask people “How can I help you reach your goals?” The answer that I almost always get is “I need accountability, support, and motivation.” I say “No problem.” I love this answer that people give because it’s bathed in truth. We all need that. The part that I don’t particularly care for is the behavior that is soon to follow.
If you’ve ever been in a position of leadership you know that people don’t respond to accountability very well. You know how it goes. When it comes down to making results happen people start dodging your calls, your emails, and even at a point of contact stutter over their words and stop looking you in the eye as if they’re scared to give you their excuse.
So what’s the problem? Well, I’m going to present you with this theory.
The reason this behavior follows your pining efforts to hold people accountable is due to the fact that the goal has not been properly strategized and committed to.
Most people do not have the planning skills and the discipline it takes to reach the goals that they’re setting. It’s a learning process. Think about this. The majority of the changes that are made in our lives are not planned or even wanted. They are either spontaneous or things we can’t help. It takes discipline to be able to effect changes in our life and this is one attribute a lot of us are lacking. Going hand in hand with a lack of discipline the majority of the time we lack planning skills that go with it.
So what needs to happen first? First the person you’re influencing as a leader has to have made up their mind that they want to improve and make the change. I hate to compare it to this but it is a very real example. It’s like trying to help an addict. You can’t help them if they don’t want to help themselves.
My advice is when you have this initial conversation with the person you’re wanting to help is that you identify with them
1) That you’re serious about helping them and you mean business.
2) Find out how serious they are about making this change. What are they willing to do? What are they willing to give up?
3) Get they’re verbal commitment. Make them say it out loud like they MEAN IT!
4) Identify the steps and methods you are going to use to help this person. Also, concur with them and find out their preferences on how they want to be helped.
5) Document this person’s goal and commitment and have them sign it. Is this a legal document? No. But it’s another step in the process and lets them know you’re serious and they need to be as well. Make sure they get a copy. You’re going to come back to this periodically and remind them of their goal.
Don’t give up on them! Again, a lot of people talk plenty of talk. It’s not your job to make up people’s mind to turn talk into walk. It’s your job to do just what you said you were going to do. So do it. If the minute they start wavering you stop “Wasting your time,” They’re going to tell themselves that you were never serious and here’s just another person that talks the talk and has given up on them. You as a leader, be persistent and don’t take it personal when people start dodging your calls and talking to you with their tail tucked between their legs and head down.
So which one are you? Most of us have been on both sides of this fence. However, let’s make a point to make this area better. When you say something MEAN IT! When you say something and you didn’t mean it explain to the person you said it to the real situation so they’re not hanging onto that information. If you say something and your circumstances change just be honest. Honesty is received so much better than Dishonesty. A message to you: Every day strive to being a better person in every area of your life. Never wake up the same person. It’s a NEW day. Be a NEW you.
Thanks for reading!
